subwaydouchery:

SUBWAY DOUCHERY : RAAAAAAT! 

“You touch me, I yell rat.” - Ferris Bueller 

I’m a touch hung over, hop on my downtown F train, doors close behind me, everyone is screaming and I’m pretty sure I’m about to die. Then a rat ran over my shoes. After I stopped screaming like the delicate little lady I truly am, I couldn’t help but think how heavy the rat felt on my feet. 

Then MTA sprang into action, the conductor left his booth wielding what I can only describe as a cricket bat. He loudly inquired, “WHERE….IS IT?” He pounded it out of it’s hiding place, after several S.O.S calls the doors finally opened, and the rat scurried to freedom! 

Check out the two grown men standing on the bench! Like two precious southern ladies after a mouse ran into the parlor! I was standing on the bench as well, it’s not like I expected them to tackle the rat then eat it alive, but it’s still adorable! 

*** From The Douchery Reserve, taken this morning. Keep on Douchin’ ***

THIS IS ONE OF MY WORST NY RESIDENT NIGHTMARES. NO REALLY. I’M PISSED THAT THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENS; I’D CONVINCED MYSELF THAT IT WAS SO IMPLAUSIBLE THAT IT WOULD ALWAYS REMAIN ONLY IN MY IMAGINATION. MASTERS OF CONVICTION, BRAINS ARE.